Relational dialectics

            I found the theory of relational dialectics very interesting because it is very true that relationships can be pulled in more than one direction.  If you have been dating someone for a long time you may think it is easy to tell him or her anything, but sometimes it is not always easy.  Not being able to share things with your partner could end relationships.  It is important to find a balance between two things, like we discussed in class, the balance between connection and separation, certainty and uncertainty and openness and closeness.  If you cannot find a balance, then you will just be unhappy all the time.  Relationships give and take and you have to be willing to do both; you never will get your way one hundred percent of the time.  It is important to have this balance because you do not want to feel abandoned or smothered.  Remembering this theory will help keep one partner from dominating everything in the relationship.  For relationships to work you have to give and you have to know when to take. Nobody wants to be a part of a one sided partnership.  The text also mentions being spontaneous when you are in a relationship.  This is important because if everything becomes a routine, you could get that feeling of boredom which is not good for a relationship.

Kinesics

            There are many different ways of communicating, verbal (with words) and non-verbal (without words).  Kinesics is an example of non-verbal communication; it is a study of different gestures using your body language.  Everybody uses this form of communication in our daily lives, whether giving a presentation and using hand gestures to the audience or giving somebody a handshake when you meet someone.  There are many different ways of communicating non-verbally, and people can see this body language through your eyes, hands, arms, and posture.  I have learned that even if you are not a very big talker and are more reserved when you speak, people can still figure out what you are thinking or how you are feeling through your facial expressions or body stance. We are always communicating to people, even without using our words.  For example, in sports Kinesics is used more than verbal communication because you want to be able to fool your opponent and catch them by surprise.  It is very important for coaches and teammates to be able to communicate using this form of communication because you do not want the other teams to know what play you are going to run. We should always keep in mind to carry ourselves how we want other people to perceive us because we are always communicating, whether we mean to or not.

Citation

 

This is an important subject for college students who have to write a lot of papers over their time in school.  I started school as a business major, but have recently switched to Communications. Already I have had to write many more papers than I ever did as Business major.  This has created a whole new experience for me because now I have to write a paper almost every other week and all of these papers need to have proper citations.  This is challenging because of all the different citation styles that exist, such as MLA or APA, etc.  I have been marked down on a couple of papers for not citing the source correctly.  I agree, of course, that credit needs to be given for others' research, but I think the specific style requirements are too rigid.  I do not think students should pay so heavily for mis-citing a source, if the appropriate information has been included.  As long as the author's name and page number are included, and the book or article information is included in the bibliography, this gives proper credit to the author, and it should not matter what order it is written in or if the format is exact.

Self-disclosure

I found the topic we recently discussed in class of self-disclosure to be very interesting.  I am a person who keeps personal things inside; even though sometimes I wish that I did not do this.  I am very quiet person when I first get to know somebody. Sometimes it takes awhile for me to open up, and sometimes I never do open up.  Self-disclosure however is important in relationships because if you do want to take things further in a friendship or a relationship, it can help you get closer to the person if you want to open up and get to know that person better. Interdependency is also important in relationships in order to keep things balanced. If you had only one person who was dependent on the other and not both on each other, then the person being depended on may feel overwhelmed, and the dependent may feel less important. In my relationship with my girlfriend we have become interdependent and I also try to use self-disclosure. I have opened up, and it feels good that somebody else can see what I am going through and be able to relate and help me through things.  Also, with some of my close friends it is important to be able to communicate about what is going on in their lives because we can help each other work through problems.  The relationship with one's parents is also discussed in the text regarding self-disclosure. It is difficult to be able to open up to your parents about certain subjects.  My parents usually have to pry into me to get anything out, even when they can tell from my body language that something is bothering me.  I hope that as I get older I will get over my difficulty with self-disclosure and be able to share and be open up about personal issues with my family and friends. This will open up a whole new experience and feelings that will help me feel better.