Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Relational dialectics


            I found the theory of relational dialectics very interesting because it is very true that relationships can be pulled in more than one direction.  If you have been dating someone for a long time you may think it is easy to tell him or her anything, but sometimes it is not always easy.  Not being able to share things with your partner could end relationships.  It is important to find a balance between two things, like we discussed in class, the balance between connection and separation, certainty and uncertainty and openness and closeness.  If you cannot find a balance, then you will just be unhappy all the time.  Relationships give and take and you have to be willing to do both; you never will get your way one hundred percent of the time.  It is important to have this balance because you do not want to feel abandoned or smothered.  Remembering this theory will help keep one partner from dominating everything in the relationship.  For relationships to work you have to give and you have to know when to take. Nobody wants to be a part of a one sided partnership.  The text also mentions being spontaneous when you are in a relationship.  This is important because if everything becomes a routine, you could get that feeling of boredom which is not good for a relationship.

2 comments:

  1. I agree. Just look at all the couples nowadays. Many of them don't know how to pull through after the first stage(honey moon period). For they can't keep the balance between connection and separation, thus, end up splitting up.

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  2. This reminds me of the Self Disclosure discussion, because people feel conflicted about how much they want to open up to the partner, but how they also want to keep things private. Usually people find some sort of acceptable balance. The problem is when secrets are found out, people question the lack of trust in the relationship. It is always best to meet the person at least halfway.

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